Your team member leaves your office after a one-on-one, lighter, relieved, unburdened.
Meanwhile, you turn around and dive straight into another tough conversation—maybe a frustrating email, discouraging feedback, or yet another high-stakes talk. Some days, it just feels like it never ends.

If you’re exhausted by all the conversations, tension, and emotional weight of leadership—you are not alone. This post is for you.

The Leadership Burnout That Sneaks Up On You

When I first stepped into leadership, I proudly embraced an open-door policy. I wanted to be the leader people could always come to—for help, to be heard, to feel supported. But my door wasn’t just open to employees; it was open to everyone. I worked at a nonprofit serving hundreds of families, and my emotional tank was quickly running on empty.

I asked myself:
How do I lead with heart without burning out?
How do I keep having these hard conversations that help everyone else when I’m the one who needs help?

Let me tell you—those conversations add up.

I used to live near Northern Virginia, right off I-95—a highway notorious for traffic jams. No matter the day or time, there was always congestion, and always construction trying to “fix” it. But the more they tried to fix the traffic, the worse it got.

Leadership can feel the same way. You solve one problem, and another pops up. You resolve one conflict, and a new tension appears. Just when you think you’re “good now,” something else breaks.

That’s what leads to burnout.

And burnout isn’t just tiredness. It’s a deep fatigue where you start doubting if anything you’re doing is working. Where you feel disconnected from your team. Where cynicism creeps in.

I usually notice burnout not when a leader is angry, but when they grow skeptical. New ideas don’t spark hope; they’re met with resistance. It’s not because they’re bad leaders—it’s because they’re tired of being disappointed.

How to Break Free From Conversation Burnout

Today, I want to help you find your way back. Here are four practical steps to overcome conversation fatigue and lead with renewed energy.

1. Don’t Have an Open-Door Policy — Have Office Hours Instead

I know this sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out. You cannot be all things to all people at all times—and that doesn’t make you a bad leader.

Burnout trickles down. If you let your calendar be ruled by urgent requests, your team will feel pressured to do the same—even if you tell them to set boundaries.

Instead of an open door, set office hours: specific times each week when you are available for conversations outside of scheduled 1:1s or meetings. Maybe Tuesdays and Thursdays, 1–3 pm.

If someone reaches out via Slack, text, or email, don’t answer right away. Set a timer for 30-60 minutes. People often reach out when emotions are high, and immediate responses reinforce that urgency. Give yourself space to respond thoughtfully.

When you do respond, direct them to schedule a time during your office hours using a tool like Calendly. If someone drops by your office unexpectedly, politely say you have 3–5 minutes to chat, then offer to continue the conversation during office hours.

You’re not closing the door—you’re opening it on your terms.

2. Focus on What’s Within Your Control

One reason conversations drain us is because people bring issues we can’t fix—like problems caused by others not present, or things outside our authority.

When someone complains about a coworker who isn’t in the room, remind yourself: “I can’t coach a ghost.” You can’t solve problems caused by people not here.

Help your team focus on what they can control. When someone shares a concern, say:
“Thanks for sharing. What’s one thing we can work on together today?”

This keeps conversations productive and prevents you from spiraling into exhaustion.

3. Stay On Task and Cut the Excess

Some people talk at length because they haven’t yet identified their core issue. They share every symptom hoping you’ll understand.

Learn to gently interrupt and refocus. Ask:
“In your perfect scenario, how would this look different for you?”

This question often uncovers the real problem and helps you move toward a solution without getting lost in details.

Here’s a quick roleplay example:

Jordan:
“So, last week I emailed Taylor three times about the supply order and she said she never saw the emails... And then last month we ran out of folders, and I had to run out during lunch…”

You (smiling):
“Thanks for sharing all that, Jordan. Can I ask — in your perfect scenario, how would this situation look different for you?”

Jordan:
“I just want to know that when I send something, people actually see it and respond, so I’m not always chasing.”

You:
“Got it, so the core issue is communication expectations. That helps me understand how we can work on this together.”

See how that keeps you on track?

4. Give Yourself Time Between Meetings to Process

Conversations can be draining. After each meeting, take 10 minutes to acknowledge what was hard for you. You don’t have to journal if that’s not your style—maybe a voice memo or quick notes.

Name what you’re feeling: discouraged, misunderstood, frustrated. Naming these feelings prevents them from ballooning in your mind until everything feels overwhelming.

For example, I might write:
“I feel disrespected. He isn’t trying to see my side. I don’t know how to respond anymore.”

Once you know how you feel and why, you can put your focus on what’s within your control.

And friend, this is where having a coach is invaluable. A coach can help you sort through what you can control, process your emotions, and develop a clear action plan. I encourage you to find a coach—even if it’s not me, there are many great options.

If you want to chat, I’d love to help. You can book a free call with me at heykaralist.com/freecall.

To Recap: Your 4 Steps to Conversation Burnout Recovery

1. Don’t have an open-door policy. Set clear office hours instead.

2. Stay focused on what’s within your control.

3. Stay on task—cut the excess details and zero in on the core issue.

4. Take time between conversations to acknowledge what’s hard and how you feel.

A Mindset Shift to End On

If you build these boundaries and habits, I want to challenge you to start seeing these tough conversations not as interruptions to your work, but as the most important work you do.

Leadership means serving and caring for the people in your sphere of influence. Yes, you have tasks and deadlines, but these conversations? This is where leadership actually happens.

Burnout won’t disappear with a vacation or by avoiding hard talks. It takes intentional action—like the steps above—to navigate through it.

And remember—everyone needs a coach. I have two right now! It’s that important.

If you want ongoing support, sign up for my Better Conversations newsletter at heykaralist.com/newsletter. Every week, I send out practical leadership communication tips designed for leaders like you.

I hope this helps you feel less fried and more empowered. Put these steps into action and let me know how it goes—I love hearing from you.

Until next time, I’m cheering you on.

— Kara